Day 24....a good day for cold and creamy stuff!

So.....Saturday was good, Sunday was good.....Monday, I woke up with an achey body, tired, and no energy....So thankful for the chicken and noodles that were dropped off last night, yummy! Thanks Jane! Also thankful for Tylenol!

To make the best of the yucky days....I enjoy things that are cold and creamy, today will be a great day to enjoy some ice cream, pudding, or raspberry sherbet and the Amazon books that should be arriving any minute. So even in the harder days there are rays of sunshine!

August 30th is My Baptismal Anniversary!!!!

I love Baptisms!!!!

I love everything about them....the splashing, the screaming, the promises, the confessions, the families, the kids, the messiness!!!! Everything!

And I love to be able to celebrate them every year....I take out the napkin and the outfit....and I look at the pictures....

So Happy Baptism Anniversary Day to me!

Soli Deo Gloria!!!!

"Rock Star" Treatments!

That is the picture of when we were almost done...but the message on the wall is what I was trying to capture....it says: "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass...it is about learning to dance in the rain. And I like it....I am learning to do just that!

Friday was Chemo Treatment #2....My sister Laurie went with me....personality wise she is the polar opposite of me.....she is a perfectionist, I am not, She is wise, she is gracious, she is more like mom, I am more like dad...the list goes on!

We talked, laughed, cried, talked about girl stuff, and had a nice day....well except for the reason we were there, but we made the best of it, we danced in the rain....There in chair # 5.......It all went well!
The nurses called me a "rock star", things were going so well....I just pray it works!

How it works is that I get there early, and report to the Lab. They hook up the port and take the lab samples and then we wait for them to come back for the doctors to see, then I meet with the doctors who review the labs and clear me for the chemo chair....That all went well and blood levels are still looking good, no temps, and we check out from that side to the chair side...

This was my chair for the day....it is a very comfy chair...and you can't see it , but there is a tv too!

We start with the pre meds...the ones that keep me from getting sick from the chemo....That lasts for an hour....the Benadryl makes me sleepy and mellow....

After that we have 3 hours of unicorn juice....also known as Taxol
And then another hour of rainbow syrup....most people call it camper something....Then we can go home!

One of the things that made the time pass quickly....I was given some really cool gifts....a journal and a dancing flower with lady bugs...we put that in the window and it dances...thank you Dallas! I don't have a picture of that yet, but I will and then I will show it to you....

And then there was the Callie Bag aka as the Chemo Bag....it was a gift from Callie's Bags, volunteers in Osage put them together and distribute to those who are diagnosed with cancers. The bag is filled with everything you could possibly need, pens, pads of papers, q-tips, purell, tooth paste, brush, and floss, hand lotion, Kleenexes, thank you cards, cross word puzzles, all kinds of cool stuff....I added my Bible, beats, and a fan.....It is a really cool bag, and I am thankful, grateful, and humbled to receive it.....

But what Laurie and I spent most of the day doing.....was coloring Mandalas with Gel pens from the coloring book that my friend Elaine sent. What an awesome gift....there was the coloring of course,  but there was the sisterhood thing.....and there were the prayers that went with the coloring....everyone who I could think of, I said a prayer for them as I filled in a space....I am not done with mine yet...Laurie did not finish hers either....I guess we will have to do that next time during #3 unicorn juice treatment!

Blowing in the Wind.....

It is gone, except for the razor stubble.....and it was my idea.

I called my friend Phyllis to see if she could give me a buzz cut...and she could, and we did...So now I am bald as a cue ball....

I suppose I could have left it for awhile, but picking hair out of food, off the furniture, and sweeping it up off the floor become more than I wanted to deal with, off it came.....And oh by the way who knew that my hair would just blow away in the wind....gives windblown a whole new meaning.....

I have some hats, scarves, and pugs to wear....I like the pink camo pug the best, but I can't find it right now.....

So here I am bald....and it will grow back!

Is the Glass Half Full or Half Empty? (This one is a hard one to write)

This came across my Facebook feed the other day....It happened to fit into something that I have pondering a lot the last few weeks.....

I mentioned that as we have journeying through this cancer thing the news has not been good...but I have had to process a few things and get my emotions under control and just fight to keep the faith so not to be drug down and have a continuous pity party....no one would blame me after all.....

Sometimes I feel sorry for myself, but most of the time it is over silly little things....

But the big stuff is when I pull out the big positive guns....and I refuse to let things get me down.....We have had to get out the cannons for this one....I am a pacifist and not sure why I use gun analogies...curious, perhaps I will need to explore that further....

Anyhoo....When I went to consult with the oncologist and the oncologist fellow.  

Side bar: This is what I have figured out so far....The oncologist is the cancer expert doctor, the attending physician. The Oncologist Fellow is an MD, that is a student who is specializing in a particular field, in this case Oncology. She is overseen by the Attending physician who approves, advises, and otherwise supervises the Fellow student. Anyhoo. I like both of them and trust their judgement....They are now starting to understand my quirky humor...and now the Attending Oncologist is moving, so I will not have him anymore :(   But I am glad I did for how long I did, because he made a difference in my life and in my treatment, more on that later.....

So back to the first visit with the Oncologists-the Fellow and the Attending.....and the OBG-YN she was there too. But I will not see her again, she was filling in for the surgeon that will do surgery later with the Gastro Surgeon....I have a lot of Doctors!

So the three of them, Dave and I were sitting in the exam room. They showed us the CT scans that confirmed Stage 3 Ovarian Cancer. They explained the treatments 3 rounds of Chemo---Surgery that would remove the fluid, the two masses, the lady parts, and the polyp mass that started us on this crazy adventure.....Then 3 more rounds of chemo. If all goes well it should be done by Christmas. And then the kicker....You have a fifty/fifty chance. My mind could not grasp what my ears had just heard....

"not the best odds" the attending doctor said....But you know, the people that do the best, are those who have a strong support system-family and friends....those that have a positive attitude.....and those who have an active faith life, who pray.....and it looks to me like you have all three. I think you have a pretty good shot at it. Those words...."looks to me like you have all three" changed the prognosis for me....It gave me hope, he reminded me of all the things that were important to me and the outcome didn't matter anymore. We win! Not the cancer.....

So is the glass half full or half empty? With the best family, friends, neighbors who bring food and treats,  tons of prayers, the gift of faith, positive thoughts and attitudes, a call to congregations that I love, good insurance, the best medical care, medical staff, and husband....the cup is continually being refilled and is overflowing!!!!!!

So as hard as it is to accept the 50/50 chances.....I can't possibly loose. If things go south so to speak-I go home to Jesus and how is that a bad thing? If we beat the cancer, which is the preferred outcome, I stick around for more birthdays......and that would be wonderful.

So we wait....and remember that everyday is a blessing.....we have had some great days lately! We even went to the State Fair with Kris, Becky, and Kolton and Kamryn.....

Really! It is only hair!

Day 13....Just as predicted, it happened. First just a few strands of hair. Then hair everywhere. Let me tell you, it is not pleasant to pick stray strands of my hair out of my food and all over the floor.....Yesterday I was outside where it was windy, I how have a whole new meaning to wind blown, because hair was flying everywhere.....I planned to have it shaved as soon as this all started, but it just  didn't work into the schedule. So I am going to try to get through the week end and then visit my hair dresser the first part of the week....Surprisingly I am ok about all this, (especially after picking all that hair out of my food, grrrrr! and yuckkkkk!) Really! it is only hair, and it will grow back. So I will be living life as a cone head from France :)
Blessings continue to abound! Thanks for the prayers and support!
Love, Elayne


Perhaps this is the look I should go for.....Thanks for sharing Marlene!

If you are interested here is another link to a David Roth song....it has been one of my favorites since I heard it in the '90s....enjoy!

https://myspace.com/davidrothofficial/music/song/manuel-garcia-71498571-78773194

New Perspective on Birthdays.....

My 56th Birthday was July 29th......Someone teased me about how old I was getting. Inside my heart swelled with emotion....I was thankful for each and everyone of those 56 years. Each of them a blessing. Some happier than others. All I wanted for my birthday was to have more.

Each day is a blessing....we hear that all the time. But during times like these I was reminded of the frailty of human life. We are here only temporarily, but we are here. Life is a gift.....So as I pondered that, it reminded me of a great song. (Backstory for the link I am adding) When we lived in South Carolina I worked for an agency that held conferences every year....David Roth was a keynote speaker...I really enjoyed his message and talent. I even bought two of his CD's...on one of them is a great song called "Spacesuits".....

So I found the link to be able to share it.....It is a great song that reminds us of the body that God has given us....some are big, some are small, all different colors....and we are here for relationships and we are in this all together.....So I happily celebrated my birthday this year!

Here is a link so you can enjoy it too.

https://myspace.com/davidrothofficial/music/song/spacesuits-74087742-81745172

Day 12-Quick Update.....

Still feeling good and able to keep up with schedules....Thanks for the emails, texts,  phone calls, and Facebook messages......I have enjoyed the visits with folks when we are in town, at church, and as people stop by.... Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Thank you to my friend Kristen for reminding me what cancer cannot do....

Thank you to the Cedar Valley Quilters for the beautiful quilt...The rainbow is my favorite color!!!!

I continue to be grateful for prayers....... and humor! Sometimes both at the same time.

Soli Deo Gloria!

The Red Car Syndrome

A few years ago I was looking for leadership training materials and stumbled upon a video called the Red Car Syndrome....actually I can't remember the name of it, but it had red cars.....The basic plot was that someone made a comment that they never saw red cars....then all of a sudden, there were red cars everywhere......

I knew there were people who were battling cancer.....there were many on my prayer list, I visited many as I did visits around the parish...... but I didn't stop to count, at least until the days after July 22, the day that my life became part of the lives that become a statistic........

I am not sure if it is the "red car" syndrome, where I just never noticed how many red cars there were.... or that it happened to me so I now am paying attention....What I do know is that those who have gone before have reached out in love and support.....I am thankful for all of them. 

What is comforting, shocking, and troubling all at the same time, is that there are so many. So so many. Too many. Which leads me to ask what is going on.

So this has been on my mind and I tend to process externally. Which means that everyone that I have run into has had to listen to my wonderings....and then they are wondering too. There is a road that follows the river near us where every house along that road has had at least one in the home that has had some form of cancer. 

I know that prayer helps.....so I posted the following on Facebook:

Dear Friends....
Thank you for your prayers, your love, your concern, and your friendship....I cherish it all and I can feel the power of the prayers. 

However, as I ponder about cancer I started thinking about all the others that are currently receiving treatments.It quickly became a long list....So I thought it might be a good thing to keep a prayer list for them. If you know someone who is battling cancer and you would like to add them to the list, I will pray for them and I invite you to as well. In order to respect peoples need for privacy you are welcome to leave the name in code.....Let us pray!

You are welcome to post names or code names (to respect the privacy of those who need it) Please pray for the names.....

Good News!!!!!

Greetings!
It was a week ago that the Chemo treatments started.....afew were already mentioned, others are better left unsaid. In a nut shell, the effects were that I was tired, had some achey feet and joints, lost the taste sensation in my mouth for a few days, was hot, hot, hot, had some trouble sleeping for more than 2 hours at a time (might be because I slept most of Monday), and drank a lot of cold water (with the usual side effects that may have caused some of the being up at night).....

Went to the doctor on Friday for blood work, port check, and check in with my doctor....Got good reports, red and whites, and platelet numbers beginning to drop, but that was to be expected...Port healing so now I can take full showers and wash my hair in the shower again! No more showers in the backyard with a garbage bag and garden hose!!!! Ok we did not do that, but that was how Dave would have helped me if my friend Phyllis had not intervened and let me come to her shop!!!!

So the doctor said that the worst of the side effects should be over for this round...for this time the side effects were minimal but I can expect to feel tired this week.....this is from the blood counts lowering. She reminded me not to over do.....humm, wonder why she said that!

Next treatment is in two weeks.....and then the fall schedule begins! We have cool things going on this fall at Cross Roads! I can't wait!!!!!

After the doctor appointment Rachel and I made a Sam's Club run and had a yummy lunch at the Ground Round in La Crosse....disappointed that Ground Round no longer has popcorn!

Soli Deo Gloria!!!! really :)

The Table

All church buildings have one of these places. This particular one is no more special than any other one......You can find this place at any of our four congregations and at any congregation across the Church Universal..... This one happens to live at Rock Creek in the very back in the kitchen.....it is 'the table'. It is the best seat in the house. The nexus for the gooey goodness that ends up on the serving table. The ultimate drop off point of everything potluck.

On this day, the good people of Rock Creek gathered for a funeral....we were saying good-bye to one of our long time members, a farmer who lived a long and productive life, filled with the love of his family, involvement with community, and someone who tried to good in the world.

The women started gathering early this morning....the table was the drop off spot for purses, bags, salads, bars, rain bonnets, and whatever else needed to be set down while the preparations were being made.....A little later all of the assorted bags and things were moved to make space to make the ham sandwiches.....

When I got there before the funeral, there was a small group gathered at the table that included Dave, talking about the plans for the day, the latest news from the neighborhood, and then they asked about me and how was I doing for this day....It was a pretty good day for me. I was feeling a little tired but I was looking forward to this day.....I am learning that every day is a blessing day. On this day tho, I am doing
what I am called to do, walk with people on the hard days and the joyous days. I have to admit that it was reassuring to me that as I was walking with this family, others were walking with me....Truly we are all in this together.

The family gathered for lunch in the basement, they talked, hugged, cried, caught up on family news, took pictures, exchanged memories, and supported each other.....What a blessing they were to each other. I went through the line, helped myself to a ham sandwich and sampled all the salads, especially the ones that were pointed out as the delicious ones that had to be tried. By the way all of them were delicious!!!!

It was then, when I looked around, that I decided that the perfect place to sit today was at that table in the back of the kitchen. So that was where I went.

There is something about that table....If that table could talk the stories it could tell.....it would tell of messy VBS projects, countless sandwiches, hours of Bible Study and prayers.....it would tell about men and women sharing their faith stories, and telling the tales of what happens when God shows up..... there would have to be something about how that table landed in that spot in the first place, all the things that have sat on top, of the tears that were spilled there, the jokes that were told there, and the recipes that were shared there.

That table, and all those like it....... sit smack dab in the middle of Holy Ground....and today as I sat there eating my lunch, breaking bread with neighbors, visiting with those that were passing through,  I realized that this was only a few stories that this table could share....This table has been sitting there for well over my 56 years. This table holds the stories of all those that have passed through, sat down, and made gooey sheep our of cotton balls and Elmer's glue....

This table is part of a bigger story that it's place in this space and time. By virtue of being there....my small insignificant story is now mixed in with all the rest that includes the VBS memories, the Bible Studies, the prayers, the tears, the laughter, the joy, the recipes, and the support that has been given there.....

Random Thoughts for Monday Morning!

Yesterday I was feeling really good! It was a blessing day! But the nurse navigator said that things would change and they did....Not to worry, I am still doing well, but it was a hard night....It started with being hot...not unusual for me and not for this time of year....but then around midnight my ankles and legs began to ache.....it was not that the pain was unbearable but just could not get comfortable. I thought it would pass, so I didn't get up to take some Tynoyol....I found a fan and that helped with the heat issues.....That fan might be my new best friend :)  Anyway we will see what happens today....

I got this great advice from my friend that I didn't want to loose on Facebook, so I am reposting it here! Maybe someone else needs this advice too....Syd, thanks for sharing this!  

 For me water and water only was a huge key. It helps with dehydration, flushes all that crappy poison out of your system and I liked it with plenty of ice. As a hairdresser I just had to say "it's only hair". Get a wig early on, some super cute hats. I had a fairly good head so I just went around proudly bald. Do what is your comfort level. I have always said cancer has no pride so whatever you need, you won't get it unless you ask. It may be in home food, ice cream for breakfast, financial advice or answers to medical questions. Get some sort of electronic device to help pass car time and chemo time. Put on only positive things like music. Learn to love your bed and bedroom, or wherever your restful sacred space will be. Surround yourself with things you love. My bed and restful times was a gift to myself. I had a chair in my bedroom to receive visitors if I was up for it. We will hug soon smile emoticon

I heard a rumor I am moving into Faith Home......

This post is not so much about me, as it is about you.....

Here is what I have noticed about the 4 congregations that we are called to serve, the wider church that we serve, and the God that calls us to serve....
Today at worship it dawned on me that these people are good at taking care of each other....they do it quietly and privately but their love shows up publicly. They watch out for each other. When they don't know what else to do, they cook and garden...thank you for the yummy treats!
They celebrate the little stuff! Like Hotdogs and some mores on a warm August evening.
They love and support their kids....they will do anything for those kids :)
They welcome weird pastors and diaconal ministers who challenge them to do weird things like have balloons at the Easter Service.This is not just a Cross Roads thing....it is way bigger. These are all people that are active in their communities and looking for ways to serve globally as well.....These are caring congregations....they look out for each other, they take care of each other....
Dave and I are blessed to be able to serve here in this place and in this time....

Here is a little reflecting on this week:
This has been a full and exciting week! Monday I worked on the pickles that you have already heard about....not impressive amounts, but it was fun watching the process come together....washing and pealing them, soaking them in the lime, stirring them and feeling them begin to become crunchy, marinating them in the vinegar and sugar, cooking them, putting them in the hot jars, and then processing them in the water bath.....It was very affirming as I heard the 4 pops as they cooled and sealed.....Fun! Just plain fun!

Tuesday mornings we meet with the Text study group where we talk about the upcoming readings for the Sunday Worship service....usually this is where sermon starts percolating....but this week the youth that went to the youth gathering in Detroit were going to be doing the message at Faith and Rock Creek (they went to St Luke and St John's the week before).....For the last few weeks the texts are all dealing with bread....The true bread.....lots of possibilities for great sermons....and I am sure you have all heard good ones! It is truly a blessing to be able to meet with these neighbors in ministries to share concerns and joys.

Tuesday afternoon we lead the worship service at the nursing home in Nora Springs...We have a few members who are residents there and it was a joy to spend the afternoon with them. Our day was not done yet tho.....

Tuesday night we met with our mutual ministry team who are so encouraging and supportive. They are a blessing to us and help us to understand the workings of each of the congregations and how we come across to each other.....It was helpful to hear their perspectives and their suggestions.

Wednesday I finished the final preparations to be ready for our Milestone Camp that was held on Thursday.....Milestones is one of the most valuable ministries that a congregation can offer....Milestones are those important times in our life that we recognize as special and celebrate. Birth, Baptism, Starting Sunday School, Learning to Pray, Learning to worship as a family, Getting your First Bible, First Communion, Starting Confirmation Class, Affirming your Baptism, getting your Driver's License, Graduation from High School, Starting college, Getting Married, starting a family, Starting your Vocation, Military Service,  Empty Nesting, Retirement, Funerals, Loosing a spouse, Starting a new school year, going to Bible Camp....these are all milestones. We have been celebrating them for years....the difference is that Milestones is much more intentional about celebrating....People are invited to come to a specific worship service where there will be a blessing and a gift.....This year we have started offering the training to families, that in my opinion is the most meaningful and important part of the ministry.....

So Thursday we had the first ever Milestone Camp.....We invited all preschool kids through first year confirmation students and their parents to come for an afternoon of fun, learning, crafts, and games....All things that they can take home and do as a family.....We had 11 kids! Great start for the first time we did it.....We had supper together and then we did the Faith 5 as our sending! We are encouraging all of the Cross Roads families to use that faith practice with their families this year!
The kids loved it.....their parents loved that the kids loved it, so they loved it too!!!! Thanks be to God!

And then of course on Friday I went to LaCrosse for the placement of the port and the first Chemo treatment, but you already know about that.....

Saturday there was a wedding at Rock Creek....I helped with some getting ready stuff....but was not involved with the wedding ceremony. I heard it was a beautiful service....Congratulations Megan and Scott!
Rachel and I had a nice long girl talk....Kevin is a lucky guy!
I did go to the Campfire service at St John's what a beautiful night for it. We had a great speaker who talked about NIVC in Mason City....

As I reflect on the week, I realize that this journey is not about me....it is about all of us. How we need each other. I cannot say how much my family and friends mean to me and how loving they have been. I cannot express in words what it means to be a beloved child of God, splashed with God's amazing grace and a part of something bigger than myself.....

I am grateful for the well wishes, the encouragement, the prayers, the gifts, the cards, and the pay it forwards....... I am especially thankful to those who are taking the time to teach me about cancer.....I have learned so much already from those who have gone before.....including my medical team, but even more helpful are the so the many, many, many, (too many) women and men who have suffered this and other types of cancer....That word that no one wants to say, hear, or have......Those who have the courage to say what needs to be said, boldly and as proud survivors...They are giving me tips about dealing with the medications (eat a popsicle, it takes the nasty aftertastes away) how to deal with the hair loss, what to eat....... Those who know what is ahead and are ready to catch me as I crumble, pray with me and for me constantly, prop me up and push me forward...to these people I will be eternally grateful......

Oh, one more thing! I heard a rumor I am moving into Faith Home in Osage.....This is news to me! I wonder when I did that? I guess that if you can't find me at the Rock Creek Parsonage, will find me at Faith Home!

Soli Deo Gloria! Thanks be to God!
Elayne

Finding a new normal.....

So....yesterday (Friday) began a new normal in my life....as yet that normal is still unfolding and will continue to unfold for awhile yet.

Yesterday morning a "port" was surgically installed near my shoulder. This port makes it easier for the chemo treatments to be administered. So after the port was installed. I met with my doctor. There was good news and then some not so good news. not so good news there is a nodule that is on the upper side of the diaphragm which means that the cancer has spread out of the abdomen. The good news is that it is not in the lungs and that the treatment plan will not change. The hope is that with the treatments, the nodule will shrink, so we pray for that.

Next stop was the chemo treatment itself. Good news there too, no reactions and the port worked well.....So far only minor issues, but that will change in a day or two. Everyone reacts different so we wait to see what kind of adventures await.

I am prepared to loose my hair....I giggle at the ironic humor of donating over 8 inches of hair to Kids with hair loss and less than a month later, I will loose the rest of mine....still glad I did it and would gladly do it again. Wondering what color it will be when it grows back....or if I will finally have curly hair....something to ponder!

It occurred to me tonight that if all hair is lost, perhaps it will be a nice break to not have to shave my legs for awhile...there could be a giant advantage to this....

It has also occurred to me that laughing makes me feel better....so any great stories and youtube videos that will make me laugh are welcome emails and Facebook posts/messages.

I am so thankful and grateful for such wonderful and supportive family, friends, Church, and medical care team. I am truly blessed by all of you....

So the adventure continues....we pray that the treatments work and that we can schedule surgery in 8-9 weeks.....We are hopeful and living in faith and the unplanned adventure keeps unfolding.

We had a wonderful outdoor service tonight at St John's where we learned about NIVC who serves adults who are differently abled. We are thankful of the work they do in our communities. Tomorrow I am planning to attend worship services at Faith and Rock Creek....I will continue to do so as long as my health allows. Maybe see you there!

Blessings Abound, Elayne

A Not Planned Adventure

First of all THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for your prayers, love, support, and well wishes during this extremely difficult time. Which leads me to write a most difficult post....

In early June I had a routine colonoscopy. It found some polyps and a mass of polyps-not cancer but at risk for cancer, so nothing to mess around with but not an emergency either. They referred me to a larger hospital, I chose Gundersen in LaCrosse.

Two weeks ago I went into the hospital for the fairly routine procedure...Did all the things that we had to do for the surgery. Had really good news as I went to surgery that the mass was located in a place where they could do an appendectomy, so it would not be such an invasive surgery. As they began the surgery they found two large masses, one blocking the path to the colon. So the surgery then became a very different one.

Samples of the masses were sent to pathology who confirmed they were cancer. That afternoon I had a CT scan that indicated the overys were inflamed. But the good news was that other major organs looked ok. The doctors ordered blood work to look for markers to determine where the cancer had started. Last Friday they confirmed that I have Ovarian cancer that had spread to the belly. The doctors believe that it is contained, but did a CT scan to confirm. Still waiting on those results.

Friday they will install a port and I will begin chemo treatments....they are in three week cycles (so one every three weeks). If all goes as planned, and we pray that it does, the masses will shrink and after 3 cycles (9 weeks) I will again go for surgery, this time they will remove my 'lady parts' (complete hysterectomy) and do the appendectomy. One surgery. After recovery from surgery, we will finish the last three cycles.

Physically I am fine, no pain or issues that slow me down. Emotionally I am positive relying on the gift of faith and prayer, I do have ups and downs and find that it truly helps to both laugh and cry. I am thankful for the examples of faith from my brothers and sisters in Christ who have faced down cancer and the other tough things of this life and have overcome.

While this is not the path I would have chosen, I shall approach it as yet another adventure in this life....I am thankful to be a child of God blessed with an incredible family and friends..... Blessings, Elayne