The Sun is Always Shining....somewhere!

I am at the point where I am beginning the process of reflecting on the Unplanned Adventure. So here is the first in what I hope to be many! I Pray that it is over, but petrified that the cancer will come back....Look Cancer: I have a certificate that it is over! So Cancer, you are not welcome here!

I don't think cancer cares....This is what I think of cancer:

yup....Cancer Sucks! I want to buy the tee shirt....

I like this better:

 Or This:

TeeHee!!!!

So what brought this all up again? Next week I go back for the first three month check with both Dr. B. and then a week later with Dr. C. On one hand, I am confident, on the other hand. One never knows. Kinda like life! So we pray some more, and we wait. Something we are learning to do.

One of the refections that I am still "chewing on"....because I am a stewer and just can't let things go until I have thoroughly explored every possibility and outcome...is that while cancer is physically devastating, it is the most emotional thing I have ever dealt with. I suppose that might be obvious to many, after all we all have been touched by cancer's ability to take away our family and friends too soon....but for me, it was way more 'everyday'. Cancer, and let's not forget the exceptionally strong drugs that go along with it, have the ability to steal joy and the simple things that are enjoyable in life.....Food and drinks did not 'taste right'. I drink way to much Pepsi...I like pepsi, but not after treatments. I couldn't even drink it. I enjoy pizza. That didn't taste right either. And anything with a tomato based sauce, nope, not for me!

For me, the blander it was, the better it was. Chicken and noodles, chicken noodle soup, yogurt, frozen fruit, puddings, not chocolate tho, Poppy Seed Chicken, popsicles, Schweppes Ginger Ale, and Ice Cream were favorites!

Anyway, cancer and chemo stole enjoyment. I fell asleep during movies. I had no energy to do anything. (So thankful for the gift certificate for the house cleaning!).

Yes, yes, I was surprised at how hard the emotional fight was. So here is what got me through it.....you! your prayers, your support, your love. The messages and cards (I count Facebook messages too) The care packages with things that I needed, that I didn't know I needed. The goofy hats! (I never did get a wig, but I liked the hats!) and faith. And I will say my faith was tested.

But here is the thing.....when I felt like I was at the end of my patience and sanity....it was the community around me that held on and kept me from falling over the edge where I often stood. They pulled me back when I couldn't.

Sometimes I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning....not because I was in pain or not feeling physically well. I just didn't have the umph to put my feet on the floor. That was when I got a push from my beloved....he would say "get out of the bed, take a shower, and let's go....." I hate to admit how much I needed him to do that and how much I love him for doing that....." He did not allow me to feel sorry for myself. We all need someone to do that for us. Even when we do not want to hear it.

Which brings me to how I coped....Well first of all prayer, lots and lots of prayer, and reading the Bible, and then the community and all they said and did....music and inspirational sayings, and I passed them on through Facebook, writing them on post it notes......There were so many that I can't possibly share them all. But one thing I will say, is that when I needed one, it appeared. I cried. I felt better.

All in all, compared to others, I had it easy. I missed out on some of the things that people have to endure. I continue to pray for them. I am thankful that I was able to tolerate the chemo and had minimal side effects.

The other day....I remembered when we went flying the last time, it was cloudy and stormy when we left the air port. As we took off and went above the clouds, the sun was shining. It reminded me that even tho in our everyday lives there are storms and difficulty. Somewhere the sun is always shining. God is always there for you and for me....we just can't loose sight of it....and remember to look up, you never know what you are going to see!

Blessings on your Adventure, Elayne